Girl Dad Supreme

Retired Bridgeport homicide police detective Dwayne McBride shows off a recent donation to his prom dress drive. It’s all part of the Willie and Sandra McBride Foundation aimed at improving the lives of city residents.

I’m not a girly girl, but I’m a pushover for formal affairs like weddings and proms.

When a female electrician arrived to fix a broken ice maker during a recent vacation down South, she spied my lighted makeup mirror on the kitchen counter (don’t ask) and grilled me for details about it.

In short order, we were huddled around the center island as she discussed plans for her wedding in October. It wasn’t a short chat. We spent about an hour discussing everything from makeup to hairstyles for her big day. I was surprised how quickly I was swept up in wedding planning mode, nearly bursting with excitement.

Her unbridled enthusiasm and singular focus brought back memories of planning my own wedding, and how my newspaper colleagues put up with hearing the nitty gritty details for nearly a year. I know they indulged me, but they had a vested interest: I was marrying a beloved co-worker, and they were all invited to the wedding. It was the least I could do for carrying on for so long.

A few days after that conversation, Debbie Ramos of Bridgeport put out a call for prom dresses on a Facebook page called Everything Is Free Connecticut. I love this page because I’m bowled over by people’s generosity, though sometimes I question people’s idea of a freebie. Not everything is suitable for donation, and it’s up to people to use good sense when going on a public forum.

The post caught my eye because I have a few of my daughter’s prom gowns gathering dust in her closet. She never plans to wear them again and OK’d donating them, though she refused to part with a navy blue beaded dress that she wore to her senior prom. I didn’t blame her; that one is a keeper.

I arranged to drop off the gowns in Bridgeport en route to a writing class in Westport. But traffic was so bad that I never made the class. Instead, I bumped into the unlikely organizer of the prom gown drive: Dwayne McBride, a retired Bridgeport homicide detective with a smile as wide as Wayne Brady.

McBride spotted me clutching two scarlet gowns in the lobby of his security consulting firm on Fairfield Avenue. “I think those are for me,” he said, motioning me into his office. In the corner stood a garment rack jammed with about 75 gowns donated over the past few weeks. More gowns were piled on a nearby folding table.

Something about Dwayne put me in instant reporter mode. Maybe it was his mentioning the names of veteran reporters who covered Bridgeport police and federal court at the Connecticut Post, where I worked for several years. Or maybe it was his easy rapport with me: he reminded me of some of the detectives I covered at the Milford police department.

Whatever the case, I knew I needed to know his story. I asked to borrow a pen and a legal pad and took a seat near his tidy desk. Reporting is a lot like riding a horse – the questions came quickly and naturally as did my scribble. I asked how a street-tough cop started collecting prom dresses.

Turns out Dwayne spends some of his spare time mentoring 5th and 6th grade boys at Dunbar Middle School. While he was in the school yard one day after school, he began talking to a group of the kids’ older sisters who came to pick them up from school.

Dwayne asked them about their prom plans. When at least five girls said they weren’t going because they couldn’t afford a gown, Dwayne swung into action.

“In every case, it was the dress, the dress, the dress,” he said. He began posting fliers about his drive in stores and local barber shops and beauty salons, and dresses began coming in.

The drive got a boost when Debbie, a friend of McBride’s son, went on Everything Is Free Connecticut to seek donations. That’s where I saw it. I knew I wanted to be part of it, though I can’t fully explain why. Maybe it was the frenzy from discussing wedding plans a few days before with the electrician. I was in formal party mode, at least mentally.

There are a few magic moments that stand out in your life when you feel like a princess or a prince. The prom is one of them, and every girl (and boy) should have a chance to experience that.

A single mother of two young children, Debbie said she had to become involved when she learned about the drive. She quickly turned to social media, giving the drive a statewide platform. Debbie grew up in Stratford and attended the Stratford High School prom only because her brother gave her money to buy a gown. Debbie said her family didn’t have a lot of money, and she feels for girls facing a similar financial crunch.

“I just like helping people,” said Debbie, who has picked up gowns all over the region at her own expense. She said her ultimate goal is making the city a better and safer place to raise her kids ages 4 and 2.

The collected gowns are stunning, in a wide range of sizes, and in every hue of the rainbow. Some are glittery and sequined while others are sleek and sexy. In any case, the girls of Harding High School should have no trouble finding a gown that fits and flatters.

And though McBride confesses to being the consummate girl dad – he is father to three grown daughters and one son – he admits he forgot a few details like shoes and jewelry to complement the gowns. It’s OK: he’s a newbie at this prom thing. He’s still getting the hang of it.

“I just wasn’t thinking,” he said, scribbling “shawls?” on a huge white board in his office. I admit I’m guilty of mentioning wraps to him, but like I said, I can’t help myself. When I get girly, I go all in. At this point, McBride is cutting off gown donations by May 5th, giving the girls plenty of time to select dresses and accessorise. But he’s already thinking ahead: next year, he plans to sponsor a contest in which girls sew their own dresses, bringing up memories of Pretty In Pink, one of my favorite 80s movies. I can’t wait until next year to see how that shakes out.